The following is a public apology to the Abyss board game.
Dear Abyss board game,
Several months ago, I publicly ridiculed you for your four different box covers. I suggested this collection of covers was nothing more than a silly marketing gimmick that added nothing to the board game hobby, except confusion. But, due to recent events, I now see the error of my ways. And so, I’ve come here today to apologize.
Yes, I realized that I was wrong to criticise you the moment I laid eyes upon the box cover for the upcoming Pandemic: Legacy board game. Or, should I say: box covers.
That’s right, Abyss board game. You may have set the stage for pointless box cover marketing stunts, but Pandemic: Legacy steals the show by not only coming in multiple box covers, but by also adding a “Season 1” subtitle.
This “Season 1” subtitle suggests that these two different versions of the exact same thing are but the first of multiple waves of Pandemic: Legacy titles. Each installment, presumably, will also be available in a variety of box covers, thus exponentially increasing the number of duplicate Pandemic: Legacy games on the market, and making it possible for customers to purchase Season 1, only to soon after discover another Pandemic: Legacy game in a different box. Is this the next Pandemic: Legacy game in the series, or actually the same Pandemic: Legacy they just bought, just sporting a slightly different box design? A board game mutation, as it were, like a virus.
I see what you did there, Pandemic: Legacy, and, my word, that is totally worth it.
I’m assuming that future seasons of Pandemic: Legacy will continue to ramp up the confusion. Perhaps the Season 2 box covers will sport the of artwork for other games. Season 3 could capitalize on the collectible “blind buy” craze, randomly distributing the game’s components throughout a thousand identically marked little packages. And Season 4 will actually just be repackaged Pandemic: Legacy Season 1 games that were returned to the store after being mistakenly purchased for Christmas by your well-meaning, but utterly befuddled relatives. (Ho-Ho-NooOOoo!)
And that is why, my dear Abyss board game, I apologize for mocking you for introducing a ridiculous fad that, compared to Pandemic: Legacy’s shenanigans, doesn’t actually seem all that bad anymore.
With sincerest sincerity,
Pair of Dice Paradise.