Hello, fellow board gamer. I’m sure that you agree with me, Chaz Marler from Pair Of Dice Paradise, that if there’s one thing that we gamers enjoy, it’s a healthy dose of cheating during the games that we play. Mmmm, there’s nothing like playing by your own rules… and then breaking those rules, because you’re a cheater who doesn’t follow rules… even your own?
Unfortunately, cheater’s natural instinct to -ahem- “creatively prioritize one’s self interests” is too often stifled by those other fuddy-duddy goodie-goodie gamers who complain that cheating ruins the experience for everyone and then permanently expel you from their game group after being caught shuffling off the bottom of the deck for the fourteenth time so your only remaining gaming outlet becomes the hollow, spirit-crushing exercise of talking about games all by yourself into a soulless camera lens. Well, cheer up, jerk, because I have great news for my fellow fair-play challenged cheaters! Hasbro has just announced the upcoming Fall 2018 release of Monopoly - Cheater’s Edition.
Jonathan Berkowitz, senior vice president of Hasbro gaming, states that this new version of Monopoly, which sounds shark jumpingly good, was created because, quote "A recent study conducted by Hasbro revealed that nearly half of game players attempt to cheat during Monopoly games.” So, instead of stopping to ask themselves WHY that might be, Hasbro will instead be embracing the gaming grifter’s mentality with this upcoming edition, quote “a Monopoly game that actually encourages cheating."
The objective of Cheater’s Monopoly is still to be the player with the most money at the end of the game. But players are empowered to accomplish this through underhanded methods. The game includes over a dozen cards, placed face up on the table, which list unscrupulous goals the players are encouraged to achieve; such as skipping spaces, embezzling money from the bank, and neglecting to pay rent if other players aren’t paying attention. Cheaters may recognize these techniques as “the story of how they got this scar from their older brother”.
Successfully accomplishing a deceitful deed earns the a trickster a substantial reward, but getting caught in the act brings stiff penalties. So, make sure you cheat by the rules?
The game is suggested for ages 8 and up because this certainly isn’t going to lead to grade school fist fights; and has a suggested retail price of $19.99. Now, don’t be surprised if sales for this game tank. Personally, I think it’s inevitable. Don’t get me wrong, I think plenty of people will go out and get the game. But, come on, it’s being marketed specifically to people who enjoy stealing. What did you expect would happen?
So, if you enjoy lining your pockets with money that you’ve secretly stolen away from big banks, give Monopoly Cheater’s Edition a try. Personally, I’ll be giving this game a pass, because I have no need for it. Some of us have been playing the advanced version of Cheater’s Monopoly for years when we do our taxes.